Migraine Musings Part IV
Photo by Jeremy Lapak on Unsplash
Lesson 4: It’s a marathon not a sprint.
“Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.”
What is the longest you have ever been sick? Seriously, think about it: what is the longest amount of time you have suffered from one specific illness?
A week? A month? Two? Six?
Chronic illness is defined by the CDC as, “conditions that last 1 year or more and require ongoing medical attention or limit activities of daily living or both.”
I used to think that one day there would be some magical pill or surgery that would fix my migraines. But twenty-two years after that first episode, I still get them. I always will.
It’s only been in the last five years or so that I have given up expecting a miraculous solution. Instead, I believe that there will be slow and steady progress as research is done and medications are developed.
Life is a lot better than it was 22 years ago and I have faith that it will continue to improve. It just takes time.
We’ve been social distancing for four months and we are all sick of it. I get it. I’m tired of it too. I want to give up on the precautions, throw the mask away and hug people. But we can’t. We can’t stop taking care of ourselves and our neighbors because our patience is running thin. We don’t give up on God because the miracles haven’t arrived fast enough.
I’ll admit that over the years the helplessness of having the migraines repeatedly no matter what I do has gotten to me. When I was too tired to care, I stopped the preventive measures. I didn’t take my medicines when I should have and neglected to manage my sleep and stress. I didn’t track or care about how much water I was drinking, consumed too much caffeine, and ate foods I know contribute to migraines. I figured that if these measures didn’t completely stop the migraines, then there was no point in trying anything at all. I mean, why waste all that effort and be so inconvenienced to still end up with a migraine? If the pain is going to come, then just let it come and I’ll deal with it later. But, what I discovered was that neglecting the preventive measures I know work makes things a whole lot worse. Not only did my migraines still occur, but they came with a vengeance because my body and my mind and my heart were not ready to deal with them.
By taking away the care I can offer myself and my body, I left myself with very few defenses and no strength to handle the migraines that did come. I went through this cycle every few years in middle and high school, college and even seminary and every time I would eventually return to the ways I had learned to care for my body. It was after my neurosurgery in 2015 that I finally recognized the pattern of giving up and then picking up the healthy habits. I realized that these seemingly small steps, while not the ultimate cure, are essential to preventing excess pain and suffering.
Similarly, while wearing a mask, staying home and practicing safe social distancing from other people may all seem small and will not in the end eradicate this virus, it will protect us and our communities from unnecessary pain and suffering. It takes time for those measures to be effective and we need constant reminders to stick to these things that scientists and doctors tell us will help.
When it becomes particularly difficult to continue to take good steps I find myself reminded of the most patient biblical characters: Sarah who waited almost a hundred years to have Isaac or Noah taking months to build the Ark while others scoffed at him. Last week we heard about Jacob working fourteen years for Rachel’s hand in marriage. Moses only glimpsed the Promised Land but he still did everything in his power for the Israelites to reach it safely. The words we read from Isaiah today are spoken to people in exile waiting for the Lord to restore them to their homeland. The prophet reminds them that their strength is drawn from the Lord. That their hearts will not faint or grow weary because God provides for them.
I’ve been waiting for twenty-two years for God to arrive with a big splash that fixes my headaches but instead I’ve received love, care and treatment from hundreds of people. I consider every small thing that I have learned and can put into practice a gift from The One who made me. God’s miracles do not arrive in a flash the instant we slip the mask straps over our ears. We don’t flock to the sanctuary the second there’s a single day drop in case numbers nor do we abandon good sense because we are tired and lonely and sad. No, instead, we recognize that the revelation of God takes time; that the steps we take do contribute to the healing of the world and that, ultimately, the greatest marvel of all is God’s love dwelling within us as we spend our time waiting and taking these small measures.